HEY DADS! Did you read my article last week about oatmeal in the sink, diapers in cups, and glue in the computer? It was a list of things I found around the house in odd places. (If you missed it you can find it at heydads.ca)
Have you ever found something somewhere in your house and asked yourself, “How in the world did this get here?” The trend seems to be that the more kids you accumulate the more stuff you accumulate and the more opportunities there are for those kids to move that stuff! Last week’s list will continue here today and you may notice a theme as we go along. So I give you four more oddly-placed items that we discovered around the house.
- Tube of toothpaste on the kitchen floor. This item creates a number of scenarios for parents to consider. The potential for small feet to step on the tube and blast its contents all over the floor. Did the individual responsible for the placement actually brush their teeth or did they just suck out as much toothpaste as possible and throw the tube on the floor when they were full? Where is the toothbrush that went along with the toothpaste? In the sink? In the oven? In the toilet? We will never know the answers to these questions.
- Block of butter under kitchen sink. This item has been on the list for a long time and I honestly can’t remember the circumstances that led to the discovery. It wasn’t complicated or messy. It was simply a lone block of butter that sat quietly in the cabinet under the kitchen sink. A mystery for the ages. That is all.
- Bowl of spaghetti in the coat closet. Now this item took some investigating. It wasn’t the first meal item located in an odd spot. In fact, if I recall correctly, we also found the remainders of a smoothie in a cup close by. It was actually more than remainders. It was the entire cup. Not a drop had been consumed. The clues continued to suggest something sinister was afoot. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner items somehow removed from the table and placed in top-secret locations. Or so the suspect thought. Which brings us to today’s final item:
- Grilled cheese in an encyclopedia. Truth! So some of the smaller members of our household sit on encyclopedias at the kitchen table. (I’m too much of a penny pincher to buy more booster seats and got the set of encyclopedias dirt cheap at a garage sale. They make great booster seats…and food hiding spots). The grilled cheese had been there for a few days at least. It was cold, smooshy, flattened bread and cheese. I should have tried to feed it to one of the smallest kids but my dear wife most likely would have denied me that pleasure. Instead I told all the kids to sit on the kitchen floor until someone confessed to hiding all the meal-time food. After an hour there were still no confessions so I gave in and let them get on with their lives.
After that hour sitting on the floor the hidden-food problem did go away so it was a partially successful exercise. No one confessed that day but eventually one of our 5-year-old twin girls spilled the beans.
So dads we live and we learn. We find things and we lose things. Those things don’t actually matter but those kids do so make every moment with them count. Time flies!
Jason Weening eats the cold, burnt, fallen on the floor leftover food from 9 kids. For more recipes like that check out heydads.ca.