Hey Dads! Are your kids driving yet? I’ve got 10 kids and as of today 30% of them are legally licensed vehicle operators. My 14-year old son, Sterling, is chomping at the bit but his dirt bike will have to suffice for a little while longer. Many children and many drivers requires many vehicles. Or at least two. We drive a large people-mover and a small people-mover, a large 15-passenger van and a small Honda Civic. Usually, one of these automobiles is available for me, the esteemed patriarch, to drive.
But there comes a point in the life of a father when he needs to drive somewhere and he looks out the window into the driveway and…it’s empty. No van. No car. My patient wife and I try to stay on top of the schedules and locations of most of our children, drivers and non-drivers. So far, so good. We’ve only forgotten a few kids at a few places a few times. I really shouldn’t say “we” because more truthfully it has been “me” doing the forgetting.
If you’ve been reading these stories for any length of time you may recall instances of my poor attempts at cow containment. I won’t go into the details now but let’s just say that our cow, Rosie, has been staying at the neighbours for a few months. Rosie recently had a calf, Telemechus, and it was time to bring Rosie and “Telly” home. My newly purchased steel fencing should solve the containment chaos.
The other day I got the call that Rosie and Telly were ready to come home. I was going to zip over to the neighbours to help round them up and load them up but when I looked out the window for a vehicle…alas, none was to be found. It was only a mile down the road so I scoured the yard for a rideable bicycle. There’s a few lying around our property in various states of disrepair. Last year, my 12-year-old son, Justice, saved up to buy a brand new bike and I spied it unguarded and all alone. Not a child in sight to witness the theft.
Before you could say, “Fat guy on a little bike”, I was off in a cloud of dust across the yard and down the road. I estimate it’s been 25 years since I owned a bicycle. Boy, those seats are uncomfortable. Boy, those pedals take a lot of effort to turn. Boy, I wish there had been a motorized vehicle to drive. The neighbours said they wondered what they saw fly down the road at breakneck speeds. It was just middle-aged me on my kids’ bike. After much sweat and exhaustion I arrived and they were almost done loading the cows. I offered them the bike to ride back to my place but all declined. We put it in the back of their truck.
Cows came home. Bikes came home. An exhausted father came home and all is well. The cow containment system is working 100% and I’m starting to get the feeling back in my leg muscles. Dad, maybe you should go for a bike ride with your kids today! Time flies, make every moment count! Even the vehicle-less ones.
Jason Weening and his one patient wife try not to trip over 10 kids’ worth of bikes. Read more in his book, “Yes, Dear…I’m Watching Them” on Amazon.